Building a romantic and intimate relationship is like building a structure out of Lego pieces. You have to keep on finding the match, fitting and refitting, re-evaluate and keep going. You need creativity, give it your effort and time to accomplish what you wanted. Your imagination and idea alone will not make it happen. It has to be executed.
The Secret Ingredients
The secret to a lasting and fantastic relationship is really not a secret anymore. People, partners or couples who have been blessed to be in that kind of relationship always attribute the core and strength of their amazing togetherness to open and healthy communication. It is the ability to listen when one is talking, and talk when they have to say something relevant.
It may require talking using different tone. Sometimes you have to shout to have your voice heard. And there are times that you have to be firm and strict with your choice of words to stress your point. Nevertheless, you have to open your mouth and communicate what you need to say so your partner knows what you think, feel, and comprehend why you have such body language, called non-verbal. Nobody can read your mind 24/7, no matter how great the person is, or how long you’ve been together.
The art of listening is a lot harder than talking. Most people underestimate this. Ladies, most of the time, miscalculate this. It entails more effort because one needs to hear, understand, comprehend, try to make sense from the slew of words thrown at you. Most of the time, it needs to be partnered with memory recall and reading previous actions or scenario that happened. The brain functions double-time during the listening process. And you need to respect that the other person is talking with proper sense in order to avoid conflict or tension.
Now, considering communication is under control, what else is there to prioritize?
Say you manage to find a common ground of speaking your mind and stating your feelings to your partner. You somehow score between 7-8 out of 10 in that area because you’re that lucky. It is also important that you are compatible sexually. Let’s not deny it, this is a romantic relationship. You need intimacy. You need to be physical and sensual with your partner. Good sex escalates things pretty quickly. It may not be the be all of your relationship but it is indeed very, very important. How do you measure your sexual compatibility? Are you going to take some annoying tests online, or ask your friends about your friends on their standards? Or, read articles like this to, maybe help you or give you an idea or two?
But, how do we do it?
I will not say it is wrong, but this may spark some useful wits in your sensual nerves. Think of it this way, and I want you to fill in the blanks as we move along, if you can easily answer the blanks without wondering quite a bit then it is a good sign.
Let’s talk about before you start your relationship with your partner, he/she gets attracted to you because ____________.
And when you started talking deeply and more frequent, you notice that your partner pays attention to ____________.
You know for sure that your partner can talk to you about anything and everything because ____________.
You have no problem telling your partner when you are horny, or wants to be intimate with him/her because you talk about these things like you talk about ____________.
Your partner knows you want sensual kiss sessions, hot cuddling and spooning, or quick hot oral sex in the bathroom without you dropping a word about it because ____________.
Your partner knows your sensitive spots, your secret pinch-me-here-and-sure-as-hell-I’ll-yell-and-moan-at-the-same-time spots, your horny buttons, your favorite foreplay position, your favorite tongue moves because you it’s been tried-and-tested for _____ times.
You touch each other unknowingly _____ times in a day.
You can easily get his/her attention by ____________.
You know how to get what you want in exchange of what he/she wants by offering ____________.
These are basic things that you should know by now. The fact that you thought of your sexual compatibility, it just meant you both understood and accepted that you are sexual beings towards each other. Your partner and your relationship is a work in progress. If you don’t know the answer to some of the statements, don’t worry! it is not yet too late. Being compatible to your partner sexually is possible if you work on it. It is like a skill we all learn in our lives. It’s similar to teaching him/her how to use the chopsticks. Your partner just needs to accept that it is important in your relationship, and you do this by communicating it to him/her. It can be learned and mastered. Not one successful couple can say that they have perfected it. We are all human beings, and none of us is perfect. We just keep doing what works best for us. And sexual compatibility is similar to that. If you work on it and your partner understands the purpose on what you are doing, then hopefully he/she will put in the same effort as you do.
The key here is great and effective communication, and the willingness to work on your compatibility. There’s no manual to sexual compatibility, just like there’s no manual to living the best life. It is a by product of labor combined with time, strengthened by effort and double-coated by having fun with each other’s company. If you sincerely enjoy each other then you can go a long way.